On Becoming Baby Wise

Author:

• Gary Ezzo
• Robert Bucknam

Notes:

Parent directed feeding allow parents to have predictable routine for the baby and have influence in the baby growth since it’s related with healthy sleep patterns.

One week after birth, we as parent need to established pattern of feed, wake and nap. This sequence ensure that baby have healthy nighttime sleep patterns.

When feeding the baby, don’t let him/her sleep. This to avoid snack feeding since baby won’t get adequate milk.

Highlights:

When a child observes the special friendship and emotional togetherness of his parents, he is more secure simply because it isn’t necessary to question the legitimacy of his parent’s commitment to one another.

Instead of building Marisa into a self-assured adult, they are fostering the emotionally crippling attitude of me-ism.

Every day, Marisa’s understanding of her place in life is shaped by the feedback she gets from those around her. If she believes she is central to the family universe, her self-centered feeling will carry over into every relationship in her ever-expanding world.

Time and experience are prerequisites for building any friendship. Children enter this world with neither. Wisdom, self-control, and the experiences earned over time must be trained into a child by those granted this unique privilege—the parents.

Life doesn’t stop once you have a baby. It may slow down for a few weeks, but it should not stop entirely. When you become a mother, you do not stop being a daughter, a sister, a friend, or a wife.

Date your spouse. If you had a weekly date night with your spouse before the baby, get back in the swing of it as soon as possible.

Continue those loving gestures you enjoyed before the baby came along. If you both enjoyed a special activity together, find a way to fit it in.

Invite some friends over for food and fellowship.

At the end of each day, spend fifteen minutes sitting with your spouse discussing the day’s events. This special “couch time,” which takes place before children are in bed for the evening, acts as a visual expression of your togetherness.

Friendship with your child is a positive long-term objective, so exercise patience.

How you choose to feed your baby will have a profound effect on your child’s hunger patterns, sleep patterns, and basic disposition.

The methods used to manufacture a secure attached child too often produces the symptoms of an emotionally-stressed, high-need, insecure baby.

instability in feeding and sleep cycles; waking for night nursing for up to two years; low tolerance for delayed gratification; under-developed self-comforting and coping skills; limited self-play adeptness—and one tired mom.

Parent-directed feeding is a twenty-four hour infant-management strategy designed to help moms connect with their babies and their babies connect with them. It is a proactive approach to infant care, meeting the needs of the newborn and those of the rest of the family.

Child-Led Feeding: Feeding times are guided strictly by the single variable of hunger cues. The baby’s hunger cue is a variable because feeding times are random.

Clock Feeding: Feeding times are guided strictly by the constant of the clock. The clock determines when and how often a baby is fed, usually on fixed intervals.

Parent-Directed Feeding: Both the variable of hunger cues and the constant of time guide parents at each feeding.

The child-led feeding is based on the faulty assumption that the hunger cue is always reliable. It isn’t. Hunger cues only work if the hunger cues are present. Weak, sickly, sluggish, or sleepy babies may not signal for food for four, five or six hours.

Feeding based on fixed times ignores legitimate hunger cues by assuming each previous feeding has been successful.

With PA you not only respond to the cue by feeding the baby, but are alerted to a potential problem with the feedings.

Your approach to feeding (demand versus routine) will have a profound influence on your child’s biological rhythms, ultimately affecting the establishment of healthy sleep patterns

First comes feeding time for baby, followed by some waketime. Naptime concludes the sequence. This routine interaction with these three activities encourages healthy nighttime sleep patterns. After the first week following baby’s birth, mother’s job is to establish this sequence.

After all, a baby knows when she is hungry and when she is ready for sleep. Right? Well, no one would dispute that babies know when they are hungry. However, a problem arises because they are not capable of regulating their hunger patterns.

As Chelsea’s mother provides daily interaction with her baby through predictable feed/wake/nap cycles, Chelsea’s hunger and sleep/wake patterns first organize then stabilize. Mom’s predictable interactions are time cues for Chelsea. These cues assist Chelsea in organizing her biological clock and responding appropriately.

You see, half of baby’s sleep time necessarily is spent in quiet sleep (relaxed sleep pattern or RSP) and the other half in active sleep (active sleep pattern or ASP). Researchers tell us these two patterns should alternate about every thirty to forty-five minutes during sleep time.

Children with healthy sleep patterns clearly had higher IQs than children who did not sleep well.

The practice of nursing the baby to sleep creates an unnecessary dependency on mom for sleep.

Emotionally, it may create a state of abnormal dependency on the sleep prop to the point where the child actually fears falling asleep when transitioned to his or her own bed. As the child moves into toddlerhood, that fear is expressed through the need for mom or dad to lie down with the child at naptime until sleep is achieved.

The expectation that a baby should nurse at every whimper usually leads to frustration for both mother and child and may be the single greatest reason mothers give up breast-feeding so quickly.

A baby nursing for comfort so many times during the night is a cue that your parenting style during the day is causing too much discomfort.

Breast-feeding success is based on demand and supply. The supply of milk produced by the glands is proportional to the demand placed on the system. The greater the demand, the greater the supply.

First, babies on a routine of fewer feedings will take in more calories at each of those set feedings than babies who feed ad lib.5 The difference here is qualitative feeding, as with a baby on a routine; versus quantitative feeding, meaning more feedings at lesser quality.

First, there is the need for appropriate stimulation at each feeding. That means the strength of the infant’s suck must be sufficient.6 A second factor for the PDF baby is the correct amount of time between feedings.

Too many snack feedings, with too little time in between, may reduce proper stimulation. Thus, baby gets only foremilk, much lower in calories than the most desirable hindmilk. Too few feedings, allowing too much time in between feedings, reduces mother’s milk production.

An infant fed on a basic 2½ to 3 hour routine and whose digestive metabolism is stable, will demand more milk. In turn, this stimulates greater milk production than the infant demanding less milk more often.

An empty stomach does not trigger the hunger drive. Efficient and effective digestion and absorption of food does.

With your nipple, stroke lightly downward on your baby’s lower lip until she opens her mouth. Take care not to touch her upper lip as this creates confusion for baby. As her mouth opens wide, center your nipple and pull her close to you so that the tip of her nose is brushing slightly against your breast and her knees are resting on your abdomen. With baby correctly latched on, nursing should not be painful.

To remove her without hurting yourself, slip your little finger between the corner of her mouth and your breast. That will break the intense suction, allowing you to take her off easily.

With your nipple, stroke lightly downward on his lower lip until he opens his mouth. When his mouth opens wide, center your nipple and pull him close to you so the tip of his nose is touching your breast and his knees are touching your abdomen.

As a general rule, during the first two months you will feed your baby approximately every 2½ to 3 hours from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next.

With these recommended times you can average between eight to ten feedings a day in the early weeks and more if needed. These times fall well within the AAP recommendations.

When your baby is nursing, you should not hear that sound nor see dimpled cheeks. It means your baby is sucking his own tongue not the breast. If you hear clicking, remove baby from breast and then relatch him. If this continues, contact your pediatrician.

One sign that your baby is receiving adequate nutrition is his stooling pattern. Newborn stools in the first week transition from meconium, greenish black and sticky in texture, to a brownie batter transition stool, to a sweet-odor, mustard yellow stool.

As mentioned, some babies nurse faster, some slower. Studies show that in established lactation, a baby can empty the breasts in seven to ten minutes per side, providing he or she is sucking vigorously.

If possible, nurse your baby soon after birth. This will be sometime within the first hour and a half when newborns usually are the most alert.

Mothers and fathers should take their clocks, turn and face them against the wall. We do not want you to look at the clock but rather focus on one thing. Work on getting a FULL feeding from your baby at each feeding. That is it. No snacking, full feedings.

Dr. Bucknam finds mothers who work to get a full feeding during the first week have babies who naturally transitions into a consistent 2½- to 3-hour routine within seven to ten days.

One thing to stay mindful of is the fact that newborns are usually sleepy during the first several days after birth. As a result, some will fall asleep right at the breast after a few minutes of nursing. That means you may have to work on keeping your baby awake at the breast.

Keeping him awake will help him take in full feedings as opposed to snacking.

Nonetheless, the American Academy of Pediatrics encourages mothers to breastfeed at least a year.

Putting a child six months and older to bed with a bottle is a no-no. This is true not only for health factors relating to ear infections but also for oral hygiene. When a child falls asleep with a bottle in his mouth, the sugar in the formula remaining in the mouth coats the teeth. Tooth decay results.

Knowing her baby’s nutritional needs are being met in an orderly fashion gives any woman greater confidence in her role as mother. In addition, establishing a routine gives mother the freedom to maintain relationships outside of motherhood.

One of the many benefits of colostrum is its effect on your baby’s first bowel movement. It helps trigger the passage of the meconium, your baby’s first stools. The meconium stool is greenish black in color with a tarry texture.

The three to five soft or liquid yellow stools by the fourth or fifth day are totally breast-milk stools and a healthy sign that your baby is getting enough nutrition.

The fact that your baby nurses every 2½ to 3 hours and nurses a minimum of eight times a day are two more positive indicators to consider.

A typical pattern is suck, suck, suck, then swallow. When mature milk becomes available, your baby responds with a rhythmic suck, swallow, suck, swallow, suck, swallow. You should not hear a clicking sound nor see dimpled cheeks. A clicking sound and dimpled cheeks during nursing are two indicators that your baby is not sucking efficiently.

Ask yourself the following: Are you too busy or not getting enough sleep? Are you drinking enough liquids? Is your intake of calories adequate? Are you dieting too soon, or are you on birth control pills? Are you following your doctor’s recommendation for supplemental vitamins during lactation? Also consider the technical aspects associated with feeding.

You may also want to consider the four day test. This involves offering a complementary feeding of one to two ounces of formula after each nursing period. Then, express your milk with an electric breast pump ten minutes per side. (Manual pumps are not effective for this purpose.) Keep track of how much extra you are producing. If your milk is plentiful, then the problem lies with your baby.

At the heart of this plan lie three basic activities. Baby is fed. Baby is awake. Baby sleeps. With the exception of the late-night and the middle-of-the-night feedings when waketime is not necessary, this order should not be altered.

You may find that after many of your feedings baby drifts determinedly back to sleep. Attempts to keep awake this sweet bundle simply are not successful. This is okay.

When you think of a flexible item, you think of something with a particular shape that can bend and then return to its original shape. Returning is perhaps the most crucial element of flexing. During the critical first weeks of stabilization, you are giving your baby’s routine its shape. Too much “flexibility” in these weeks is viewed by a baby as inconsistency.

During the first week to ten days of your baby’s life work on getting a full feeding at each feeding. Do not think about the clock, think about a full tummy.

After that time, the clock becomes an aid in helping you plan your day. After ten days, a daily routine for most new mothers will be a continual repeat of a 2½- to 3-hour cycle from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next.

Both baby and mom need to achieve a few basic goals during this phase. For the breast-feeding mother, the establishment of stable milk production is the main objective. For baby, it is learning how to nurse.

One caution for new parents is to stay mindful of your newborn’s sleepiness. Many newborns in the early weeks have a tendency to fall asleep at the breast without taking a full feeding. This can quickly lead to the bad habit of “snack feeding.”

Understand how to calculate time between feedings. As previously mentioned in chapter 4, the time between feedings should be measured from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next.

Between weeks two and four, nurse your baby approximately every 2½ to 3 hours. Any combination with these time frames is acceptable. During these early weeks stay close to these recommended times.

If you need to awaken your baby during the day to prevent him or her from sleeping longer than the 3-hour cycle, do so!

After this feeding let your baby sleep until he wakes up naturally, but do not let him sleep more than five hours if you are breast-feeding.

After the first week, starting with the early-morning feeding and continuing through the mid-evening feeding, all three activities will take place: feeding time, waketime, and naptime.

Here again is the exception. During the late evening and nighttime segment, there needs be no extended wake periods. Feed your baby and put him or her right back to bed.

Assess and decide what is best for your baby. Staying mindful of all healthy baby indicators will help you determine how many feedings is right for your baby.

Make sure you establish a first feeding. It will help organize your baby’s feed/wake/sleep cycles during the day enabling you to plan ahead. Without a consistent, (within a ½ an hour) first morning feeding, you can and will be feeding every three hours, but each day has a different rhythm.

As stated, your baby’s normal feeding periods fall between 2½- and 3-hour intervals.

That might be the cause, but equally, it might be that she is hungry and in need of another full feeding. If that is the case, feed her again, and then readjust her routine over the next two feedings. You will know if the problem is hunger if she takes a full meal.

The point is this: it’s okay to deviate from the 2½- to 3-hour feeding norm. But do not deviate so often that you establish a new norm.

First, you may wait ten to fifteen minutes to make sure he is truly awake. He may be passing through an active sleep state, moving to deeper sleep. Second, you can feed your baby and then put him back down. You can then awaken him at 7:00 A.M. and feed him again. Although that is less than three hours and he may not take much at that feeding, the advantage will be that your baby stays on his morning routine.

Don’t let your baby’s routine get in the way of being thoughtful toward others. You can either attempt to play with your baby and entertain her or you can feed her.

This sample schedule can begin after two weeks. Just remember the general rule: feed every 2½ to 3 hours from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next.

Start with eight or more feedings for the first two to three weeks. After that you may average eight feedings over the course of the next six weeks.

Stretching from a 3-hour to a 3½-hour routine, or from a 3½ -hour to a 4-hour routine. If you have to consistently wake your baby for his or her daytime feedings, this is a strong indication that the baby can go longer between feedings.

Drop the middle-of-the-night feeding. Many babies drop this feeding on their own between the seventh and ninth week.

If you have a digital timepiece and notice that your baby is waking at nearly the same time each night, that’s a strong indicator that his or her biological clock is stuck.

When your baby awakens, give him a chance to resettle. You really do not need to rush in right away. Any crying will be temporary, lasting from five to possibly forty-five minutes. Remember, this will be temporary!

What you are giving your baby is the gift of healthy sleep.

You know your baby is ready to drop this feeding when he shows signs of being disinterested in another feeding or is difficult to awaken to receive a feeding.

Waketime activities include times when you and your baby will be together and times when your baby will explore his or her new world alone.

At birth, a baby responds to his or her mom’s and dad’s voices. Talk and sing to your baby during waketimes,

It’s never too soon to read to your baby or to show the baby colorful picture books (especially cardboard or plastic ones that the baby can explore on his or her own).

This is another pleasant routine for you and your baby. You can sing, tell your child which part of his or her body you are washing,

Taking time for a stroll outside is great for you and your little one. You can sing or talk while you are walking, and the fresh air is good for both of you.

A few early play activities are flirting with your baby, smiling, talking, and gently moving his or her arms and legs and, of course, cuddling with your newborn.

Putting a baby in a swing allows your infant to watch what is going on around him or her. Swings are especially helpful for calming fussy newborns.

In addition to feeding, changing, and bathing your baby, you might have at least one playtime a day when the baby has your full attention for fifteen minutes or so.

During the first two months, if your baby is not napping well, try cutting back on his waketime by 15-minute increments. Some babies become overstimulated during waketime and have difficulty settling in for a nap. The fatigued or overstimulated child becomes hyperalert—fighting off sleep through crying. If this is a regular problem for your baby, shorten his waketime.

When settling for a nap, crying for 15 to 20 minutes is not going to hurt your baby physically or emotionally. Your baby will not lose brain cells, experience a drop in IQ, or have feelings of rejection that will leave him manic-depressive at age thirty. You do not undo all the love and care of the waking hours with a few minutes of crying.

After having been put down for a nap, your baby will move from an active sleep state to relaxed sleep in thirty to forty-five minutes. In the next thirty to forty-five minutes, he or she will move from relaxed sleep back to active sleep. At the end of that cycle, your baby may begin to stir and cry. Parents often interpret this to mean naptime is over. Going in to pick up the baby, they assume the child’s crankiness is his or her natural way of waking up. But that’s not the case.

Pay close attention to your baby’s different cries and you’ll soon be able to tell when he needs to be picked up, consoled, or tended to, and when he is better off left alone.”

The hunger cry is different from the sick cry. The sleepy cry is different from the “cuddle me” cry. And the distress cry differs from the demanding cry. Crying varies in volume, too. Sometimes a cry will be nothing more than a gentle whimper. Other times it is a violent protest.

The cue she is responding to is the sound of the cry. What mom needs to respond to is the why of the cry. Learn to assess the why behind baby’s cry. Only then can your responses be rational and purposeful instead of emotive.

Indeed, babies who are allowed unlimited feedings, who are carried in a sling during the day, and who sleep with their mothers at night, do cry very little. This is true. However, this is not a result of love, training, and an abiding sense of security. Such babies cry less because this parenting philosophy calls for the suppression of all crying.

PDF babies move naturally from dependence to independence because the nature of the program fosters relational security. A baby’s security is tied to his or her developing relationships with mom and dad, not simply the proximity of mom. The child who is physically attached to mom through baby slings and shared sleep is not necessarily experiencing relational attachment.

A mom who picks up her baby and offers the breast each time her baby cries is teaching her baby that food is the source of comfort, not mom.

Research has clearly demonstrated that immediate-gratification training negatively impacts a child’s ability to learn, affecting the skills of sitting, focusing, and concentrating.

Cries indicating hunger or thirst are predictable with PDF babies. You can be certain the cry is not a hunger-and-thirst cry if your baby is satisfied after a feeding.

Another cry that needs investigation is when your baby wakes up in the middle of his nap with a loud, piercing cry. This could be caused by gas. Relief will come by burping your baby.

Abnormal cry times include the following: a) during feedings; b) immediately after feedings; c) at times when baby wakes early out of a sound nap. Crying during any one of these periods requires attention. Don’t wait for the crying to subside. Investigate it, looking for the root cause. These are not trainable cry periods, such as those times when you put your baby down for a nap.

What should you do if the intruder visits your baby? Our emphasis and encouragement is to first approach the 45-minute intruder as a hunger problem, not a sleep adjustment problem.

It is important to properly recognize the intruder because it can affect more than a single sleep cycle. While more research needs to be done in this area, it appears a link may exist between the 45-minute intruder and breast-feeding problems.

Other than the abnormal cry periods just discussed (which always require your prompt attention), some crying is normal and should be expected. The normal cry periods are as follows: a) just before feeding; b) when baby is put down for a nap; c) during the late afternoon/early evening period.

Your baby’s routine is to serve you and your baby, not the reverse.

When your baby goes down for a nap, the duration of crying is set by the child but monitored by the parent.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes that: “Many babies cannot fall asleep without crying and will go to sleep more quickly if left to cry for a while. The crying shouldn’t last long if the child is truly tired.”

Don’t make the mistake of trying to comfort her during these moments; you’ll only awaken her further and delay her going back to sleep. Instead, if you let her fuss and even cry for a few minutes, she’ll learn to get herself to sleep without relying on you.”

Without knowing your child’s cry patterns, you will always be second-guessing his or her real need. You will never know how long your baby’s cry period should last. You can’t stand to hear baby cry? Join the club, but remember what’s truly important. There’s a purpose here. Without a goal in mind, i.e., teaching healthy sleep habits, letting your baby cry before falling asleep at naptimes makes little sense.

Some children cry fifteen minutes before falling asleep. Others vary the duration of their cry from five minutes at one naptime to an off-and-on, thirty-five-minute cry at another. If your baby cries longer than fifteen minutes, check on the baby. Pat him or her on the back, possibly holding the child for a moment.

Another advantage to successful sleep training is that you may put your baby down at anyone’s house and have the same success.

fussy time in the late afternoon is not uncommon. That’s true of both bottle- and breast-fed infants. There is no reason for you to be anxious about your fussy baby, because you are in good company. Literally millions of mothers and fathers are going through the same thing at nearly the same time each day.

Also, check what you are eating. Hot, spicy foods or a large intake of dairy products can be common contributors to a baby’s fussy behavior at any time of day.

There is no precise time limitation for normal periods of crying. Rather, think carefully about each cry situation. Determine when you should intervene and when you need to hold back. What is this called? It is called parental assessment.

What crying does for the parent hearing it is to arouse emotions that in turn stimulate the thought process leading to assessment. Mother’s decisions without assessment can be dangerous.

Leaders must be clear-headed and ready to make decisions. They should not be driven by their emotions.

Even in the early days and weeks, you will begin to distinguish different tones and patterns in your baby’s crying. Simply stop and listen.

Just remember, sometimes the best action is no action at all. For example, if your baby is clean, fed, and ready for naptime, let him or her learn how to fall asleep alone.

Understand, though, that constantly holding baby during every fussy time is easily overdone.

Parents should offer comfort when comfort is needed, but stay mindful of this basic question: What type of comfort should I give my baby right

The colicky baby seems irritable nearly all the time, day and night. Symptoms of colic include: piercing cries combined with physical symptoms such as acute tummy distress, folding of the legs, flailing arms, inconsolable crying, and passing gas.

colic is related to an immaturity of the nervous system or the infant’s inability to process the full range of stimuli common among newborns at birth. The condition affects about 20% of the infant population showing up usually between the second and fourth week and generally ends by three months.

Breastfeeding moms may find certain foods in their own diet to be a source of their baby’s discomfort. You can start by eliminating the “gassy” vegetables (e.g., broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, onions, and garlic) or any spicy foods, as well as dairy products, caffeine, and alcohol.

Infants fed with a bottle tend to swallow more air, resulting in discomfort. You might consider using a different bottle or nipple design to help reduce the amount of air your baby swallows during a feeding.

This can lead to some stressful and frustrating weeks, so one of the best things you can do for your baby is to take care of yourself. As much as possible, keep your baby’s routine going. If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break.

GER is asymptomatic spitting up and usually does not require medical treatment because the baby is growing well and is not fussy. For this level of reflux medication is not usually prescribed.

in the United States, 3% to 5% of all newborns have mild to severe reflux symptoms for the first few months of life. Reflux is usually due to an immature esophagus sphincter valve.

Reflux usually presents itself in the first few weeks of life. If it goes undiagnosed, it becomes worse and in extreme cases, the infant may develop a feeding aversion because he associates feeding with pain.

Proper feeding positioning for the baby can also be helpful. Holding a baby at a 30-degree angle while feeding (which is the most natural angle for breastfed or bottle-fed infants) will result in fewer reflux episodes than when a baby is held horizontally.

If the feeding is dragging out longer than 45 minutes, think about pausing the feeding and give your baby some down time, possibly placing him back into his crib.

From the earliest age, children will sense your attitude. If you approach their care as if it is a burden or drudgery, then your children will respond in a burdensome way and you will experience drudgery.

One important aspect of feeding newborn and premature infants is a good assessment of their hydration.

But with a multiple birth, especially three or more babies, keeping track of who has had a wet diaper and who hasn’t can become a challenge. Especially in the first sleep-deprived postpartum weeks, you can lose track of even obvious things. So write it all down. Keep your “Healthy Baby Growth” charts near the changing table and keep them updated.

Here is the first rule governing nighttime sleep. Do not be tempted to lengthen the time between daytime feeding until your babies are sleeping at least nine to ten hours at night.

They need the every-three-hour feeding during the day to distinguish night from day but also to make sure all their nutritional needs are being met.

Mentally, you begin immediately. In practice, however, you should ease yourself into the program. For the first few days, just relax. Actual implementation for breast-feeding moms begins anytime between day one and day seven.

In feeding, concentrate on getting baby to take a full meal. No nibbling to tide him over. You also want to work on getting a minimum of eight such feedings in a 24-hour

Within the first hour and a half is best, since newborns are usually most alert at this time. Strive for fifteen minutes per side, with a minimum ten minutes on each breast.

Nurse between fifteen and twenty minutes per side at each of these feedings. This means your average nursing period lasts from thirty to forty minutes this first week. Here’s where the work begins. You want to try keeping baby awake at the breast. You want your baby taking full feedings as opposed to snacking.

Do not let your baby sleep longer than three hours during week one.

Remember, full feedings represent your baby’s best interests. The cool cloth is a means toward this end.

Newborn stools in the first week transition from the first greenish black and sticky stool, called meconium, to a brownie batter transition stool. This stool then transitions to a mustard yellow stool.

With the PDF plan, helping your child organize his feeding and sleep times is a prerequisite to organizing his days and nights.

However, during the first six weeks (preferably eight), breast-fed babies should not be allowed to sleep longer than five hours at night before offering a feeding.

We prefer you feed your baby at least once at night until he is at least five weeks old.

There are three important things to remember here. First, a baby’s basic routine enhances learning. Order is an ally of the learning process. Second, infants will differ in the age at which they master skills. There is no cause for alarm if your child seems to develop skills more slowly than you believe he or she should, nor should you constantly compare your child’s development with your neighbor’s child. Third, along with his or her physical development, your baby will become more and more responsive to moral training. Be careful not to focus solely on your baby’s physical accomplishments without giving due consideration to his or her developing attitudes.

(Creativity is the product of boundaries, not freedom. With absolute freedom, there is no need for creative thinking or problem solving.)

Retraining is always more difficult than training correctly from the start, but it needs to be done. Parents who love their babies give them what they need; young children need a good night’s sleep.

It was with great interest and pleasure that we read the cover story of Time magazine, “The E.Q. Factor,” (Nancy Gibbs, October 2, 1995, p. 60).

Dr. Goleman presents some very interesting findings: children who gain the mastery of delayed gratification learn the virtue of self-control, and hence have a much better life. Children trained in immediate gratification suffer and are left behind.